Karate Kid…did we really need a remake?

Done properly, none can defense!

Was there really a reason to remake this movie other than Will and Jada Smith wanting to have a way to showcase their son’s Jean-Claude Van Damme kicking skills?  The first movie was about as perfect in it’s cheesieness as it could get and I don’t believe there could even be any room for improvement.  I mean really, is there a person over the age of 30 that can hear the following line and not be able to pretty much quote the entire thing from memory?

Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.


Where is your javelin?

That first Karate Kid movie is such a classic.  The poor but charming outsider taking on the richer, meaner and cooler bullies and gaining a much needed father figure along the way.  Sure, Ponyboy had about as much athletic ability as my laptop.  And sure, Mr. Myagi was way believable taking on all those Kobra Kai skeletons at once without breaking his hip.  And sure, the biggest and baddest dojo in town..where they do not train to be merciful… has Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds as one of it’s students (which has always tripped me out a bit).  And sure, I wanted to kick Daniel-san’s ass about halfway through the movie for being a whiny little bitch…dude complained all the time and he was getting free karate lessons and a pretty bad ass ride out of the deal.  So you had to wax a few cars, paint a fence and a house and sand a freakin’ deck…buck up Mary…you got some cool shit out of the deal.  But all that aside…the movie is still a classic.

Jaden Smith

I pulled something just looking at this.

Seriously, weren’t the other 3 sequels bad enough.  One of those freakin’ movies had Hillary Swank as the Karate Kid for Christ’s sake.  Now we have the Midget Fresh Prince being the Karate Kid…in China?  And Jackie “Do you understand the words that are comin’ outta my mouf” Chan is Mr. Myagi?  Grrrrr…. China?  Shouldn’t that make this Kung-fu Kid at least?

And this Smith kid is only 11.  The original movie was all about beating the odds and getting the girl.  I really hope they don’t keep that with this movie…who wants to watch an 11 year old with a love interest?   I actually saw the kid on one of the morning shows today where they were talking about this movie being his first on-screen kiss.  Ewww. Besides Jesus Quintana (that creep can roll), does anyone else really want to see two 11 year olds making out?

Anyway… Since the movie is coming out today I thought I would share two Karate Kid themed videos.  First, one of my all time music videos that has pretty much the entire cast of the original movie in it…from No More Kings (If you haven’t seen this before…watch…if you have…watch it again..it never gets old):

Just loved the ending on that one.

And finally this little preview of a mockumentary about Ralph Macchio being all grown up and unable to shake the nice guy image.  Some of the funniest stuff I have seen in quite a while.

***Edit…since this video is no longer hosted on Youtube, you can click the link in the VodPod widget to the left or you can just click here to go see the video on Funny or Die.

Soooo…Happy Karate Kid Day!   GET HIM A BODY BAG!

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Filed under Movies, Rant

3 responses to “Karate Kid…did we really need a remake?

  1. I just watched the No More Kings video this morning. So good.

    My biggest problem with this movie (the new one), other than that they are making it at all, is Midget Fresh Prince’s age. As you say, don’t want to see an 11 year old with a love interest. At. All.

  2. karate is more tough to do everyday . Particular if you are asking to me i don’t like karate. Normally kids don’t like to attend this class.

  3. Anonymous


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