My Little Sister Embarrasses My Mom at the Zoo

My mom and sis

Today’s Plinky Prompt is “What is the funniest thing you have ever heard a child say?”. As soon as I saw this prompt I chuckled and knew what my story would be….We were living in Berlin and I was a kid, not more than 5 or 6, when my class was visiting the zoo for a field trip. My mom was with the field trip as a chaperon and she brought along my little sister. My sister was a little hellion; somewhere in that 2 to 3 year old stage. You know, the stage where they are basically parrots and repeat just about anything they hear.

Sometime during the day, the chaperons decided to take a break. There was a kick ass playground at the zoo where the kids were having a blast while the parents and teachers were all sitting and chatting on the benches. My mom, a young woman in her mid twenties, was chatting with the other parents and teachers while keeping a close eye on me and my sister as we were tearing up the playground. I don’t know what was being said among the adults but I am pretty sure that every parent was sizing up their own parenting skills against everyone else. Isn’t that what parents do? They see or hear another parent doing something they would never do or someone else’s child misbehaving and immediately go into judgement mode. I am not a parent so I can’t speak from experience here but from what I have seen…this doesn’t seem to be an idea that is just in my mind.

At some point, a couple of older German kids started running around the playground with their fully loaded water pistols. They were squirting everyone they could and all the kids were running away from them screaming in faux-terror. That was about the time that one of the kids zeroed in on my sister. He apparently unloaded a big portion of his watery ammunition right into her too.

She was laughing hysterically as she ran straight over to my mother. She must have been cute as hell as she ran up to all of the waiting parents because they all stopped their chatter and all attention was focused on her. My Mom smiled and looked my sister up and down and noticed that she was soaked…but only in one spot.

My sister, between large gulps of air, pointed right to her crotch and shouted at my mother, “MOMMY!!! THEY SHOT ME IN THE DICK!!!”

Stunned silence.

My Mom’s eyes widened in shock and horror as the nervous laughter started with all the other parents. The nervous laughter turned into full on belly laughs as everyone recovered from the initial shock. Mom started laughing as well and pulled my sister in and quietly tried to explain that what she said was both inappropriate and incorrect.

To this day, still the funniest thing I have ever heard a kid say.

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