Monthly Archives: December 2010

The Sunday Morning Smackdown

Ripley decided to sit in a chair near the window.  Newt decided to try and rip off Ripley’s tail that was hanging off the chair.  This is the result:

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A Racist Christmas Surprise

This week my two nephews were up for a visit.  While Noah wanted to pile on hats and costumes…

… his big brother, Angus, wanted to play Scooby Doo on the Wii all day and night.

This afternoon, in between lots of chasing, fighting and the occasional tantrum, the boys were calm enough to sit down and watch a nice little Christmas special.  Since the boys were going with Grandma and Grandpa to see the Grinch on Ice and to sit on Santa’s lap we found a great little set of cartoons for the boys to watch:

I figured a nice and wholesome set of cartoon from the 50s would be just that…nice and wholesome.  Rudolph’s cartoon was pretty much that as we saw the story of the red nosed outcast and how he became the lead dog on the Christmas Iditarod.   But I was not expecting the second cartoon.

I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked seeing as the name of the cartoon had the word Surprise right there in big red letters.  But I was not really prepared for the cartoon I was about to watch.  The whole premise of the cartoon is that Santa is so tired and overworked that his place up north is just a pig sty.  So a group of kids, representing the different peoples around the world, get together and give Santa’s place a good cleaning.  From the looks of Santa’s workshop he should have been a candidate from the show Hoarders.  But the kids roll up their sleeves and really do a great job of cleaning.

What was so shocking to me was the total racism when it came to depicting the different kids.  The little black kid was all Sambo’ed out:

And while the little white girl and boy are cleaning up the dirty dishes, what do you think they have the little black kid doing?  Yep, he is shining shoes.

Seriously,  shining shoes.

And then they switched over to the Asian characters…anyone have a guess at what they were doing?  Yep, the laundry.

I was nervously chuckling while my nephews were just blankly staring at the TV.  I was sure glad they are too young to understand why I was laughing.

If you want to order your own DVD to have this treasure for yourself you can order one for under $10 from Amazon by clicking here.

Or you can just stream it from Netflix like we did.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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So Sacrilicious

The Creeper visits The Manger.

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Filed under Funny Pic, Just me

Punch a Rapist….For Charity!!!

Karma is a bitch.

At least it appears to be so for Big Ben Roethlisberger over the last few weeks.  For those of you that don’t know, the Pittsburgh Steeler‘s Quarterback appears to have issues that revolve around “Little Ben”, alcohol and the inability to distinguish between the words Yes and No.  The nickname of Rapelisberger didn’t just appear out of thin air, if you know what I mean.

You see, when Ben decided to use his size and strength to overpower a much smaller woman he opened the door and allowed Karma to come on in for a visit.  In week 11 he was dropped with a punch to the face from Richard Seymour:

And on Sunday night, Haloti Ngata of the Baltimore Ravens got another shot on Roethlisberger’s face.  This time breaking the Quarterback’s nose in the process:

For these two hits Seymour was fined $25,000 and Ngata was fined $15,000.  Fines like these are meant to be a deterrent as players see their money evaporate in front of their eyes for these illegal hits.  There are some people that feel that fines like these are just not enough when players are earning salaries in the millions.  I just laugh when I see players getting fined…I think they probably laugh as well.

Do you know what happens to the money that players are fined in the NFL?  That money goes to various charities and to help support retired NFL players.  So by punching Ben in the chops Seymour was actually just donating to charity.  By breaking Roethlisberger’s nose, Ngata was just helping out a couple retired players.

And those fines, you know the ones that are meant to be a deterrent by hitting these overpaid giants in their wallets, are actually helping these guys more than hurting.  Each of these fines are tax deductible.  Because “ordinary and necessary” business expenses are deductible these fines can be written off by the offending players.  How hot is that?

So I am thinking that every defensive player should be lining up to take a shot at Big Ben.  I mean seriously, there aren’t many times in life when altruism is this much fun and good for you too.

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Three for Thursday

Here are three stories that have been in the news around the area this week.  The first two make me so proud to live in the DC metro area and the third story….Zzzzzzzz….hmm?  Oh, I nodded off there for a bit.

TSA Homosexual Agenda

You know, there are some stories that are so freakin’ ridiculous that your brain kind of locks up when you hear it. On Tuesday there was a news story about a Loudoun County Board of Supervisors representative that said that the TSA pat-downs were part of the “Homosexual Agenda”. Eugene Delgaudio believes that what the TSA is doing isn’t for our safety but instead is for those gays to get off while touching our junk.

“It’s the federal employee’s version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights… That means the next TSA official that gives you an ‘enhanced pat down’ could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission,” Delgaudio wrote.

This is an elected official. Yay.

Oh you wonderful, crazy bastard. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though because we all know that all of those homosexuals can’t control their urges and just have to sexually molest every person of the same sex that they encounter. Straight people aren’t pedophiles or sexual predators at all.

You know how I know this to be true? It is because I can pass this test. I can look at a picture like this and not lose my shit and just have to get all grabby:

Meanwhile, every single homosexual man on the planet will go into a lust filled trance and get a semi-chub from this pic:

This test is completely scientific and proves without a shadow of a doubt that gay people cannot control themselves. Well, it is if your science is based on insane-bigot-fuckwad logic.

I hope this shining beacon of tolerance gets re-elected next year. Well, that or he finally comes out of the closet like we all know he eventually will.

http://dcist.com/2010/11/loudoun_county_official_tsa_pat_dow.php

DC Water

One of those things you always hear about going to some third world nation is, “Don’t drink the water.” Who knew that our nation’s capital falls into that same category? Apparently DC Water was partially replacing pipes to try to help to “cut down” on lead in the water and only made the situation worse. What I find particularly disturbing is that there was a report from 2004 from the CDC that said the drinking water was “not a significant danger” to children and now they are saying that this report was using incomplete data. So for 6 years people in the District have sucked down lead if they were drinking their tap water.  6.  Freakin’.  Years.

I am thinking that this is part of the Anti-Homosexual Agenda. If Superman can’t see through lead with his Xray vision then those scanners the TSA are using can’t possibly see through a body completely laced with lead. So you see, if you have drunk the DC water you can safely go through the scanners at the airport and not have to fear being patted down by all the perverted gays that are just lying in wait to touch your junk.

The sad thing is that while this is completely stupid it isn’t quite as bat-shit crazy as Delgaudio.

http://dcist.com/2010/12/cdc_dc_pipes_still_may_be_contamina.php

Qatar World Cup in 2022

Oh darn. We lost our bid to host the World Cup in 2022. That just ruins all the plans I was making for 12 years from now. I guess I will just have to learn to cope.

I just started twitching a bit even trying to pretend to care.

I can’t even get though the phrase “Qatar to host World Cup in 2022” without yawning twice. And WTF…Qatar? Is that even a real country? Sounds like a village halfway between Rohan and Gondor. I checked the map of Middle Earth to be sure but I couldn’t find it.  But, in the spirit of full disclosure, I couldn’t find it on a real map either.  So I am not still not convinced that this is even a real country.

I really hope the rest of the world will figure out there are some sports with real excitement in the next 11 years so I won’t have to hear everyone talking about how the US will be turned into a country that likes and watches soccer because of the World Cup. What? There are two World Cups before 2022? Really?

Shit.

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