When I was growing up it was always kind of a running gag in our house about how my Mom would say stuff that made just no sense when you would wake her up. For example, when practically crawling back into the house at around 1 in the morning after having a few too many drinks I would try to sneak past my mom who was sleeping on the couch. But I could never quite make it. She would go from dead sleep to, what seemed like, wide awake in a split second. Her eyes would be open as wide as possible and she would be looking right at me but I could tell that she was still not quite there. You know that blank look in someone’s eyes when they just aren’t all there yet…yeah, she had that.
But the biggest clue that she wasn’t all there yet was in what she would say. I can remember a couple of times she would say things that would just make you double over with laughter:
“Clean up your GI Joes and get to bed!” Now that one has to be my favorite because I was probably 18-20ish at the time.
“Brush your teeth and get ready for bed!” This was another good one because it was said in that annoyed and almost angry voice only Mom’s have. The one that let a kid of between 4-8 years old know that she was serious. Too bad this was said sometime right around the same time as the clean up your GI Joes comment. So the only real affect it had on me was to make me laugh and bring my sister in on the joke to find out she had heard our Mom spout out these types of phrases from time to time as well.
Time has passed…alot of time has passed…and I haven’t really woken up my Mother in the middle of the night any time recently to see if she would tell me to “Put on my pajamas” or “Clean up those Star Wars people” but I did find out something interesting. It appears that the “saying weird shit” gene has passed on to me.
A couple of weeks ago, at around 3 in the morning I woke up Deb from a sound sleep. Apparently what woke her up was that I was laughing in my sleep. I am sure she was pretty startled at seeing me asleep and laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” she leaned over and asked me.
“Our faceoff,” I mumbled to her.
“Our what? What are you talking about?” Deb wasn’t sure she heard what I was saying and even if she did it made no sense.
My response was in an annoyed voice, “Our faceoff at the long table.” How dare she not understand what I was talking about.
Deb laid back down on her side facing away from me and jerked the covers up to almost cover her head, “You’re dreaming,” she huffed.
I must have been annoyed that she didn’t understand what I was talking about as I almost shouted, “NO!”
Deb turned back over and asked, “Well what do you mean ‘our faceoff at this table’?”
To which I replied, “Umm..the splashing. It’s all the splashing.”
Now Deb was just annoyed as she exclaimed, “You’re dreaming!” as she threw off her covers, got up and left.
I was immediately back to sleep. I woke up about an hour later or so and had a vague recollection of our exchange. I have no idea what I was talking about and don’t remember what I was dreaming. But I had Deb explain to me what happened and recorded it so that I could listen to it later.
WTF was I dreaming about?