Unbelievable. You, *subject name here,* must be the pride of *subject hometown here.*
This is from some nerd convention, somewhere, and is just full of win!
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Rest assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!