Monthly Archives: July 2012

London 2012 Opening Ceremonies: What I learned while watching without sound.

Unless you are living under a rock I am sure that you are aware that the Opening Ceremonies of the London 2012 Olympics were yesterday. I was at a party last night so while we had the Opening Ceremonies on the television I couldn’t hear anything that was actually going on. I am pretty sure that the show that was put on was supposed to be all about England but without volume I can’t be sure. Since my history on the UK is a bit rusty, I had to try to piece together what I was seeing. If you watched last night, am I close to what you saw?

In the beginning all of Britain was just like the Shire: full of Hobbits, everything was peaceful and everyone played cricket.

But the British Hobbits were not those peaceful little guys you remember from the books or movies.  The Men of The Shire were not treated as equals and the Hobbits never allowed them to play in their days long games of cricket.  That was until the day that one man found a mystical and gigantic bell that would solve all their problems.

The bell was rung and its powerful magic called forth Abraham Lincoln.

But Abe was not alone. This bell had the ability to clone The Great Emancipator and brought many copies…and they had a plan. They met at The Party Tree where the OG Abe relayed the story of the sufferings of all the Abes that came before him at the hands of the English Hobbits to his brethren. Abe preached that they were to break their chains and use their power to call forth the Armies of the Dark One to lay waste to The Shire.

And after their evil incantations an army of Zombies arose from the Party Tree and descended on The Shire.

The Zombies quickly overrun all of Britain and the reign of the Hobbits was ended.  Those few Hobbits that remained were forced into slavery and were made to labor in the lava flows from Mordor to start bringing in the Industrial Age of Man.

The city of Isengard (now known as London) slowly rose from the ruined shell that was once The Shire.  The rise of this new and powerful city drew the attention of Lidless Eye of Sauron from the east.

Aware that his power in the realm of Britain was on the verge of being challenged by the Zombie and their evil Wizard master, Sauron forged 5 more rings of power for his new Ringwraiths.

Armed with their new Rings of Power, the Ringwraiths descended on Isengard with their warcry of “SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS”

The Powerful Wizard of Isengard and these Ringwraiths battled for days.

The unleashing of their magic energies could be seen from miles around.

But as suddenly as the battle had begun…it was over.  There was no sign of the Evil Wizard of those hideous Ringwraiths.  The evil seemed to have left this corner of the world.  The few Hobbits that remained came out from their hiding and the grand celebration began with a chorus of happy little drummers.

The celebration came to a close with a parade of the champions from every corner of the globe.

So did I get all that right?  If my memory of my old history classes didn’t fail me…I am probably spot on.

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Filed under Postaweek2012, Sports, TV

DC Derecho Aftermath: Quit bitching about your power

How had most of us gone through our lives and never heard the term “derecho” before? Friday’s storm was insane. I had never seen a storm of that intensity and I will admit that I was pretty freaked out while it was going on.

Over a million people had their power knocked out. Damage was so widespread that there are a lot of people still without power four days later. With the temperature hovering around the 100 degree mark during the duration, it really does suck for some people out there.

While it blows to not have power, I am getting pissed at these assholes all over any and all newscasts that are demanding their power be restored yesterday. It is as if every channel is going out of their way to find the frumpiest housewives in the area to loudly complain about their respective power company. It is as if they think all it takes is someone from the power company to flip a switch and everything will just turn back on.

It doesn’t work that way. These crews are busting their collectives asses to get power restored.

It takes these crews a long time, in sweltering and dangerous conditions, to get these repairs done. For example, right down the road from my place there is a stretch of road that was really hit hard. It looks like King Kong burst through the trees and demolished a whole stretch of power lines. (It is this stretch of road where a young guy was killed when one of those trees landed on his car on Friday night.) There have been at least 3 repair crews working on this one area, nonstop, since Saturday morning. They were still there when I drove by there about an hour ago.

3 crews working on 1 block for over 3 days. Consider that more than half of the Metro area had their power knocked out. Now try to figure out the manpower it will take to completely restore power to the region. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the numbers. I am pretty sure there isn’t this fleet of cherry picker trucks and an army of technicians to man them that are just lying about waiting for a storm like this one.

I keep hearing people complaining about how unprepared the power companies were for this disaster. It isn’t like this was a hurricane where we have 3 to 5 days to prepare for the brunt of the storm. This was a hurricane force storm that developed mere hours before it raged through our neighborhoods. There was nothing they could have done to brace for this.

But as I sit here watching the news it is still nothing but people complaining about the power companies doing nothing. Even though, in Northern Virginia alone, more than 400,000 of the initial 470,000 people without power are back on the grid.

People should be treating these guys fixing their power like the residents of Colorado Springs are treating their fire fighters. Bring them drinks and snacks if they are in your neighborhood, shake their hands and say thank you.

But please, if a news crew from a local TV station is in your face, quit bitching about your “ineffective” power company.

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Filed under DC, Postaweek2012, Rant