Category Archives: Family

Father’s Day Bird Eviction

Yesterday, while eating breakfast, I heard a ruckus just outside the kitchen window.  It sounded like a couple of birds were having a knife fight out there.  So I peeked over the shutters and saw that two little sparrows were trying to make a nest in one of the hanging planters on the porch.

My first reaction was, “Awwww…how cute.  They are building a little home together.”  But then I remembered the last time two cute birds built a nest out there.  Once they finished with the nest they became super aggressive and just trying to get out to the car was an adventure.  Nothing quite like running from your front door in a mad dash to make it to the car before you are attacked by an angry couple of birds trying to protect their home.

So this would not do.  At first, we just tried to drive them off by going out and yelling at them.  But they just kept coming back and continuing to build as soon as we went back inside.  Then we tried hanging some tin foil on the planters to there would be movement enough around the planter to scare them away.  But again, as soon as we went inside..they returned and just kept on building.

Then I got an idea.  We needed one of those fake owls that I see people put up in their gardens to keep the undesirables out.  But we didn’t have one of those.  So I had a plan that any other 40-year-old guy would have…I went into my action figure collection for a suitable “owl like” figure.  Yeah, I know…nerdy and not typical.  I found my Hurley and he just seemed perfect for the job.  He took over for Jacob as the protector of the island so surely he could keep away a couple of birds.

So I went out and shooed the birds away, rooted out the nesting construction and setup Hurley to be my little flowerpot scarecrow.   I stood in the window for a few minutes to watch and see what would happen.  I could see the two birds on a tree branch just about 20 feet away and they were pretty much screaming at our porch.  I don’t think they were happy but it seemed to work.

Seemed to.

So I went back to drinking my coffee, eating my bagel and reading the sports page.  Suddenly I heard wings flapping a bird screeching and a crash.  I couldn’t help but think that the Angry Birds had attacked Hurley.  And when I stood up to look over the shutters my suspicions were confirmed.  The hanging pot was Hurleyless.

I went outside to check and found poor old Hurley on the floor of the porch and it appeared like he a couple of the flowers that he was supposed to be protecting with him.  Those birds had not only knocked him out of the planter but had destroyed part of the flowers just to show me that they were the boss.  And, upon closer examination, they freakin’ hobbled the poor fat bastard in the process.

Angry Birds 1 Hurley 0

Poor guy.

But you know what?  I watched those birds for the next couple of minutes after that.  They came back a few times but they weren’t coming back to try building a nest in the planter.  They were just coming back to gather up the pieces of the nest that we had pulled out and thrown into the front yard.  They just wanted their stuff.

So I am pretty sure they just pushed Hurley out of the planter out of spite.  They had to have already decided to move on but they just wanted to show me that it was by their choice and not because of anything I did to chase them off.

Stupid birds.

Time to give Hurley a Crazygluectomy.

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Filed under Family, Funny Pic, Postaday2011, Postaweek2011

No longer a Taurus

Not that I even really believe in this shit, but….

Those people that know me and do believe (or at least partially believe) in the Zodiac have always told me that I was a perfect example of a Taurus.  So earlier this year when the signs were all mixed up and the 13th sign was added I was moved to Aries.  I have been informed that there is no way this is correct.  I am a stubborn bullheaded Taurus and will be until the day I die.

My Mother shared this little comic from today’s paper with me.  It made me laugh.

Guess I better set the DVR for Oprah.

Source: [Mother Goose and Grimm]

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Filed under Family, Funny Pic, Postaday2011

Volkswagen Commercial: Darth Noah?

Angus and Noah: Stormtroopers

If you know either of my nephews then you would know that they love dressing up in costumes.  I don’t think I have ever seen two kids who enjoy to dress up and act the part of the superhero (or supervillain) than Angus and Noah.  When someone forwarded me this commercial today I was dying laughing.  Whoever that kid is in the Darth Vader gear was totally channeling Noah.

I have seen Noah get into a costume and completely take on the personality of that character.  If he had a full on Vader costume I am sure this would be him running around the house all day long.  The frustration this kid is displaying when his force powers are not working like they should is spot on Noah.

Enjoy the commercial.

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My Top 15 Pics of 2010

Now that 2011 is here I thought it was a good time to go through the pictures I took throughout 2010.  Here are 15 of my favorites in no particular order.  I do not claim to be a photographer.  These were all taken with my phone:

1.  Angus on his Birthday –  My nephew watching a DVD after opening the gifts I brought him.

2.  Noah playing with his Star Wars toys.

3. Ripley enjoying her spot of sunlight.  She does look like she is really pissed in this pic but she was really just kicking back and enjoying her little spot of warmth.

4.  Ripley on her perch at sunset.

5.  Newt relaxing on a lazy Sunday.

6.  Ripley and Newt chasing squirrels on the TV while watching their new Cat DVD.

7.  Deb enjoying a break during our hike around the Billy Goat Trail.

8.  P admiring his handiwork and waiting for the kids to show up for Trick or Treating on Halloween.

9.  At The Legwarmers show.  Woody was dressed as Richard Simmons and in this pic he was holding his girl’s purse.  Couldn’t resist getting this pic.  As if you couldn’t just tell from the pic…i was a bit drunk and really having a great time making fun of Woody here.

10.  While at the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear I caught this pic of The Flash while he was taking a break from fighting villains just long enough to admire a view of the Washington Monument.  I think this is probably my favorite picture of the year.

11.  This one was from our last day at Dewey Beach during the summer.  Just held up the Iphone and snapped a quick pic before heading up and to the house to pack up and leave.  The pic turned out pretty good for the really lazy way that I snapped it.

12.  Another accidentally cool shot.  Deb and I were down in Del Ray just out to get a bit of breakfast and walk around at the craft fair when I saw the two women standing in the middle of the street with signs that cracked me up.  I was just trying to get a pic of the two of them when Jim Moran walked up and got into the pic.  Love it.

13.  On a hike around the trails at Fountainhead we came across this small graveyard.  It was kind of spooky but we hung out and took a bunch of pics.

14.  The Creeper visits the Manger.  While the nephews were up visiting at Grandma’s house I took this little sacrilicious gem.  Gotta love Scooby Doo toys.

15.  While I didn’t actually take the original pic of my brother-in-law and Angus flying a kite I did really enjoy chopping this one up.  Definitely my favorite chop of the year so I had to add this one.

I already have a few pics from the Winter Classic weekend for my faves for next year.  I hope I have a ton more to go through at the end of 2011.

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Filed under DC, Deb and I, Family, Postaday2011

A Racist Christmas Surprise

This week my two nephews were up for a visit.  While Noah wanted to pile on hats and costumes…

… his big brother, Angus, wanted to play Scooby Doo on the Wii all day and night.

This afternoon, in between lots of chasing, fighting and the occasional tantrum, the boys were calm enough to sit down and watch a nice little Christmas special.  Since the boys were going with Grandma and Grandpa to see the Grinch on Ice and to sit on Santa’s lap we found a great little set of cartoons for the boys to watch:

I figured a nice and wholesome set of cartoon from the 50s would be just that…nice and wholesome.  Rudolph’s cartoon was pretty much that as we saw the story of the red nosed outcast and how he became the lead dog on the Christmas Iditarod.   But I was not expecting the second cartoon.

I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked seeing as the name of the cartoon had the word Surprise right there in big red letters.  But I was not really prepared for the cartoon I was about to watch.  The whole premise of the cartoon is that Santa is so tired and overworked that his place up north is just a pig sty.  So a group of kids, representing the different peoples around the world, get together and give Santa’s place a good cleaning.  From the looks of Santa’s workshop he should have been a candidate from the show Hoarders.  But the kids roll up their sleeves and really do a great job of cleaning.

What was so shocking to me was the total racism when it came to depicting the different kids.  The little black kid was all Sambo’ed out:

And while the little white girl and boy are cleaning up the dirty dishes, what do you think they have the little black kid doing?  Yep, he is shining shoes.

Seriously,  shining shoes.

And then they switched over to the Asian characters…anyone have a guess at what they were doing?  Yep, the laundry.

I was nervously chuckling while my nephews were just blankly staring at the TV.  I was sure glad they are too young to understand why I was laughing.

If you want to order your own DVD to have this treasure for yourself you can order one for under $10 from Amazon by clicking here.

Or you can just stream it from Netflix like we did.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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The Boy With The Broken Halo

Danger wrapped in a snug fitting costume.

That is Noah.

My nephew is turning 4 this weekend.  FOUR!  Time is really flying by as that kid and his big brother both grow like weeds.  It is like looking into some fairy tale mirror when I watch this kid play with his toys.  It is really freaky how much he plays like I did at that age.  He has an amazing imagination and had endless hours of conflict and drama with his growing number of action figures.

I have a big Halloween Bash of my own to go to this weekend so I am sorry I can’t make the little guy’s party but I went down to Richmond and had him all to myself for a few hours yesterday.  I really do prefer having him and his brother all to myself and not having to share their attention with all of their other relatives.  We really had a great visit too.

But since I can’t be there to help him celebrate his birthday I put together a little video for him.  Hope he likes it.

Happy Birthday Noah.  Hope you have a great party.

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Nationals Park: Cubs Week 2010 – The Second Year of Sweep

For the second straight season my Cubbies have come to town and delivered the hometown Nationals a series sweep.  I want to thank the three people below for heading out to the ballpark with me and helping me enjoy three beautiful August nights:

All 3 games were played on unbelievably mild August nights that just made sitting in the ballpark about the best place to be in the area.  For Games 1 and 2 our seats were almost in identical spots but on opposite sides of the field.  But for Game 3 we were right up on the field…4 rows off the field right next to the Cubs dugout.

The games were Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday games and both teams being in last place in their division so the park was only about halfway filled with fans…but at least half of those were there to see their Cubbies.  And we were surrounded by a sea of Cubs fans along that thirdbase line.  Everyone was having a great time…except maybe this security guard (seriously, click the picture and check out the complete lack of enthusiasm on his face):

It was good to see Ivan back on the field as a Cub.  Do you think that guy is gonna hate The Big Lebowski?  I mean, how many asshats like me will be yelling, “Nobody fucks with Dejesus!” at him during a game?

The 7th inning stretch appeared to mean something a little extra for good old Tom Jefferson during Game 3.

TJ with the BJ

The Cubs series every year always seems like such a blur and goes by so fast…especially when they win every game.  Next year can’t get here soon enough.

Thanks for all the fun this week.

Sweep

See you next year.

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Filed under Cubbies, DC, Deb and I, Family, Sports