Category Archives: Sports

The Story of Hockey Jesus and Let’s Go Caps!

We definitely are louder.  And we have Hockey Jesus on our side!

December 26, 2010.

That is a date that I think I am going to remember for a while.  It was the day that brought the news of Hockey Jesus to the world.  That’s right, I am writing about Hockey Jesus on Easter Sunday….so if you are one of those people who can’t take a bit of humor with your celebration of a dude getting crucified you might want to stop reading now.

P and Red had us all over to their place that day for a little post-Christmas brunch.  All of the usual friends and family were there to just kick back, eat some food, have some drinks and enjoy the day.  I don’t think any of us were expecting the announcement that they were pregnant.

The Caps had just come off the worst losing streak in a while.  One that was so prominently being displayed on HBO’s 24/7 and making all of us die-hard Caps fans really doubt our chances this year.  With the Winter Classic only 5 days away we were already preparing ourselves for our trip and our seemingly inevitable loss at the hands of the Pens.  Things just weren’t really going our way.

That night the Caps were playing the Canes on the road.  The Caps ended up winning the game and we all joked about how P and Red’s new little addition might just be the luck we needed.  We had no idea just how right we were.

What has happened since?

We won the Winter Classic.  F U Pens!
We caught and passed the Flyers for First overall in the East.  F U Flyers!
We shook off the ghosts of the past and actually closed out a playoff series (without having to go 7).  F U Rangers!

Since that announcement on December 26, 2010, every game that I have watched with “Red and a half” the Caps have won.  It has really been a crazy run.  We have dubbed the little guy Hockey Jesus.  It was on the drive home from a game late in the season when I threw that nickname out there and we started joking about it.

We joked about the image of Jesus checking someone into the boards with reckless abandon.

We laughed about the vision of Jesus giving us a Ovechkinesque gap toothed grin.

And what got the biggest laugh was picturing Jesus turning all the ice back into water so he would be the only one that could skate on it while every other player just fell down and floundered about in a couple of inches of water.

It was about then that we realized that the Hockey Jesus we were creating was kind of an asshole.  So I kind of cooled it on imagery and just decided to let the little guy alone and trust in him to get us further into the playoffs.

And we have faith in him for the run for the Cup.

But that faith was tested.

For Game 4, we all went to watch the game down at the Crystal City Sports Pub.  After the 2nd period, when the Caps were down 3-0, I was really down on the team.  At that point I just knew that we couldn’t come back.  All I wanted was to not get shut-out.  But the team rallied and did the impossible.  To come back and win in the 2nd overtime was one of the best wins I think I have ever seen in my 20+ years of watching this team.

But I realized that I had lost my faith in between that second and third period.  I not only doubted our team but I completely lost the faith in our little Hockey Messiah.  Later, I apologized to both P and Red for my loss of faith and promised to not lose it again (at least for the rest of this playoff run.)

So on this Easter Sunday, all praise be to Hockey Jesus!
On to the Second Round!
Let’s Go Caps!

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0 for Sunday

Started off Superbowl Sunday with a Caps shutout of the Penguins. Hope that the Packers can beat up on the Steelers tonight and make Pittsburg 0 for Sunday.

Oh… And this sign applies to EVERYONE at the Phonebooth. I don’t care that you are an ancient woman, it still applies to you. So stay in your seat if you can’t make it through the aisle during a stop in play. Or better yet…just stay home.

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Danny Snyder’s Ridiculous Lawsuit Against the City Paper

The Mayor of Munchkinland, Little Danny Snyder, filed a lawsuit against the City Paper on Wednesday.  The lawsuit is seeking $2 million in general damages plus unspecified punitive damages for libel and defamation of character.  This whole situation stems from an article that the City Paper published back in November of last year call The Cranky Redskins Fan’s Guide to Dan Snyder.  This article is an alphabetical listing of the many failures of Dannyboy as the owner of the Skins and is actually a really funny read.

The lawsuit states that”

A tabloid newspaper is not entitled to employ lies, half-truths, innuendo and anti-Semitic imagery to smear, malign, defame, and slander….

After reading this first sentence of the lawsuit I just had to go read that City Paper article again to see where the article went down the road of Antisemitism.  I couldn’t find it.  I had to actually go and search for some explanation and what I found really shocked me.  It was all about the picture at the top of the article.  The picture where someone turned Snyder into the devil is anti-Semitic?  You’re kidding me, right?

I guess that I have been anti-Semitic without knowing it since about the age of 5.  As a kid I remember drawing horns and a van-dyke on tons of pictures.  I did this well before I knew the difference between people’s religions.  So I guess that either I was just born anti-Semitic or this is bullshit.  But according to Rabbi Abraham Cooper, this is:

“inappropriate and unacceptable when a symbol like this – associated with virulent anti-Semitism going back to the Middle Ages, deployed by the genocidal Nazi regime, by Soviet propagandists and even in 2011 by those who still seek to demonize Jews today – is used on the front cover of a publication in our Nation’s Capital against a member of the Jewish community.”

I guess I should apologize for all of my own demonizing of Jews throughout my life.  Sorry about that.  My bad.

What really gets me angry is the letter that Snyder’s attorneys sent to the City Paper that read:

“Mr. Snyder has more than sufficient means to protect his reputation…We presume that defending such litigation would not be a rational strategy for an investment fund such as yours. Indeed, the cost of litigation would presumably quickly outstrip the asset value of the Washington City Paper.”

In other words, Danny has way more money than you.  So you take it back or you will be sorry.  Just makes me sick that anyone with enough money can get absolutely anything they want utilizing our legal system.  Nope, this system isn’t broken beyond belief.

Initially the folks over at the City Paper are standing by their article.  I hope you guys over their stick to your guns.  Don’t back down to Snyder and his attorney goons.

What I really have to wonder is what would happen if the City Paper just paid Snyder the $2 million.  Would paying the $2 million to Danny make everything printed in the article okay now?  If so, might I make the following suggestion:  Take up a collection.

I am pretty sure there are thousands of people in the area that would love nothing more than to contribute.  Seriously.  If you can find me one Redskins fan that is a Dan Snyder supporter I would be surprised.  I know that every person I know, that is a Skins fan, hates the asshole with a passion…including myself.  And if we were given the chance to tell Snyder to “stick it”, how many of us wouldn’t take the opportunity.  I know I would.

I would love to hear about someone from the City Paper walking in to the office of Snyder’s attorneys and slapping down a check, sticking out their tongue, giving them the finger and then turning and walking out.

And then run the story every single week.  After all, you paid for it.

EDIT:  And btw, I admittedly don’t know dick about our legal system.  I am pretty sure what I said above would never work that way in the real world.  So just put up the good fight, City Paper, and take up that collection for the legal fees…I would still be happy to contribute.

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Favre – “What should I do?”

This little vid is priceless.  You really should have just retired in Green Bay, Brett.  Now you have become the poster-boy for the danger of texting dick pics to chicks.  Sad way to end your career.

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My Favorite Penguins Fan Ever

I have been so incredibly sick all week.  The kind of sick where everything hurts.  I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and think I coughed up more lungbutter than is humanly possible.  There were a couple of times where I thought that I was dying.

Then, on the day I finally started feeling relatively human again, the fucking Steelers had to go and win their playoff game.  And with a freakin’ circus catch?  Seriously?

I really do hate every team from that god damn city.  And I know that the hate is mostly because I just can’t stand the arrogant asshole fans for any of their teams.**  So nothing made me feel better this evening than to get this nice little video sent to me.  A Penguins fan at the Winter Classic falling and busting his face just makes my day.  I really wish I had actually saw this while up there for the Classic:

I have watched this about 50 times now.  Enjoy.

**I guess if you are a Pirates fan I can cut you a bit of slack now…but I am still bitter about the “Killer B’s” during the 90s.

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The Weekend: Bacon, Caps and Cats

This weekend was a pretty good one.

With Ripley feeling better from our scare earlier in the week Deb and I spent Friday night just hanging out and watching some movies. Newt was really acting cute as she was hanging out on the keyboards:

And then moving to under the Christmas tree (yep, it is still up):

And being her usual mischievous self, jumping into the washing machine as soon as the door is opened:

On Saturday, thanks to Red and P having other obligations, Deb and I took Grandma Jim and Grandma Mary to the Caps game. The Caps really looked sluggish during the first period but turned it on towards the end of the game. Ovechkin‘s goal was pretty sick too as he was pretty much flying through the air when he scored. It is always better to go to the game when they win.

Both Ripley and Newt were happy to have us home after the game:

This morning we got up and went to Restaurant 3 for brunch. This place is the place to go if you are crazy for bacon like we are (thanks to Danielle for reminding me about this joint). We started off with Bacon Bloody Mary’s:

The Bloody Mary is made with bacon infused vodka and a big thick slice of bacon for a garnish. For brunch Deb had the Eggs Nova Scotia and I had the Graceland Waffle:

It was really delicious. A Bacon Studded Waffle (and we are talking huge chunks of bacon), Brown Sugar Glazed Bananas, in a Peanut Butter/Caramel Sauce. Mmmmmm. If you are ever in Clarendon for brunch you should check this place out. And if you are ever there for dinner make sure you get desert: Bacon Studded Waffle with Maple Bacon Ice Cream.

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Hitler bet on Crosby and the Pens

I have seen the Hitler Meme used for just about every situation.  Up until now the funniest one I had ever seen was about the video game I used to work on.  But this one takes the cake.  I love that Hitler was going for the Pens.

Rock the Red!

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