Tag Archives: Rant

The Most Sound Sleeping Woman In The World

Last night there was this story on the news that I just could not believe.  There was this woman who fell asleep on a plane and when she woke up it was 3 hours after the plane had landed and there was just her and a cleaning crew.   Very Langoliers-ish.  I will give the woman one thing, it would have been pretty freaky to wake up that way.  But this woman has already hired a lawyer and plans to sue for false imprisonment, emotional distress and negligence.

Seriously?!?  Can we just look at a few things first before this goes to court or before United decides to settle the case outright?

This woman was on a flight from DC to Philadelphia.  This was not a LA to New York flight we are talking about here…it was DC to Philly.  If you drive from Dulles to Philly it is 167 miles and takes right around 3 hours (without traffic).  Flying that distance takes around 50 minutes. How in the world can a person get to sleep, and to such a sound sleep, on a flight that short?

I don’t know about you but I could never fall asleep before a plane gets off the ground.   There is just too much stuff going on…the noise of the engines, the bumpiness of those tiny wheels moving along the runway, the sudden jolt as the plane starts down the runway and that stomach churning second or two when the wheels part from the ground and you take to the sky.  During a 50 minute flight you have about 10 minutes of take off and ascent and about 10 minutes of descent and landing.  I am going to assume that the woman fell asleep during that 30 minutes in between.

So during that 30 minutes this woman fell so deeply asleep that she slept through the entire landing process.  I can’t even sleep through the cat jumping onto or off of the bed.  This woman slept through the plane touching down, the announcements over the intercom of the pilot welcoming the passengers to Philadelphia and thanking them for choosing United, all of the lights in the plane being turned on and every other passenger gathering up their belongings and leaving the plane.  Being that sound asleep is bordering on being dead and totally reminded me of this:

How do you sleep for 4 hours on a flight that only lasts 50 minutes?  I just don’t get how a person can have such little control over themselves to allow this to happen.  I just don’t understand how you could not have that internal clock that just doesn’t allow this to happen.  And while I do agree that United’s flight crew should have noticed she was asleep, there is no way this woman has any kind of case here.

Story:  [USA Today]

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WTF Brits?!?! IPhone Voted the 8th Most Important Invention of All Time…Seriously?

 

Better than the crapper and the car. 😦

From a study performed by Tesco Mobile, the IPhone is a hell of a lot more important to Brits than I would have thought. They “studied” 4,000 Brits and came up with a list of 100 of the Greatest Inventions and the IPhone came in 8th.

8th!!!?!?!

This is right behind Penicillin (7) and right before the Flushing Toilet (9) and the Internal Combustion Engine (10). So apparently Brits don’t want to be sick but don’t mind shitting in a hole in the floor or riding around in a horse-drawn carriage as long as they have their freakin’ IPhone to play with all their apps. The Shoe doesn’t even make the list until 30. Maybe there is an IShoe app.

I don’t use an IPhone so am I missing out? Is it really more important to us than 92 other things on that list of 100?

I guess the IPhone is the best thing since sliced bed…literally. Sliced Bread is #70.  It really scares me what would be on that list if this was done in the good ole US of A.

/facepalm

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I absolutely hate Pat Collins

Seriously.

If you live in the DC Metro area you most likely know about this complete tool.  Pat Collins is a reporter for our local NBC affiliate NBC4.  He has been around on the news here for as long as I can remember and from the first moment I saw him on TV I thought to myself, “What a complete and total douchebag.” I have no idea how he has been on the air for as long as he has because he creeps me out worse than the eyes of Sue Palka the Fox weather woman with the really freakin’ crazy eyes.  And that chick really creeps me out so that is saying something.

Mr. Collins appears to believe he is Bill Shatner when he is doing any of his news reports.  His overly dramatic delivery makes me want him…just once… to look dead into the camera and say “You…Klingon bastard….You….killed my son”.  Or even better just one long “KHAAAAN!”.  This guy really is THAT over the top on every news report he ever does.

Pat Freakin CollinsDuring our Snowpocalypse earlier this year Pat was out on some street corner all freakin’ day and night with a stupid yard stick measuring every inch as it fell from the heavens.  It probably wouldn’t have been so bad had the storm not made it impossible to go anywhere and every local channel showed nothing but storm coverage all day long for like 3 days.  This jerk-off was grabbing people as they walked by so they could do (for the 323rd time that day) another measurement of the snowfall.

“Why yes Pat, there is about another 1/4 of an inch since you did this 5 minutes ago”

Asshat.

I was watching the news just a bit ago and Pat came on to give some report from somewhere about something and I swear this guy thinks the entire viewing audience is hanging on his every word.  After every report this guy files they should have that Drama Chipmunk pop up on the screen.

Am I alone in my hatred of this guy?

Oh and for those of you who don’t know who he is…here is one of his “reports” that i found….you be the judge.  And yeah, I know this is a really crappy quality video but I think it really illustrates just how douchey this guy can be.

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